Thankful

Yes, the title is "Thankful" and yes, I know it is December! I meant to write this a little closer to Thanksgiving but here it is anyways. My mother always says when I'm feeling down or sad to write a list of the things I am thankful for. Well, I am not particularly down or sad at the moment thankfully but I do think it is important to write things down so that on those days when things seem especially hard, I can look back and be reminded of the things God has given me. 

In no particular order: 
1. My friends-I have amazing friends. Some days I wonder at how I am supposed to keep up with all of the good friends that I have. (Some days I realize I am failing at that miserably! Sorry if that's you!) I have friends who speak truth to me in kindness, who make me laugh like nobody's business, friends who share my quirks and friends who have their own quirks that make them especially "them." I have friends that when I change the subject in the middle of talking about something else, roll right along with me and don't need any reason why I'm all over the place. I have friends who listen to me talk and process out loud and not make any sense but still pretend to understand and help me make sense of the "crazy." I have friends who hug me every time they see me because they know I love hugs!! I have friends who take care of me when I'm sick, who text me funny things, who tell me that they thought of me because they saw something about refugees or Africa and they know this is close to my heart. I have friends who let me hold their babies and call me Aunt Jess. You don't even know how this melts my heart! I have friends who teach me about how to love Jesus through the way they work in their jobs, the way they meet the needs of others, the way they have moved halfway across the world to bring Light into darkness. Like I said, they are just amazing. God is so sweet to me and I feel Him in these friendships of mine! 

2. My job. I have a job. That is reason to be thankful enough I believe. But my job is so great and also, so hard. I get to talk with children who have been abused and neglected. I get to play games with them, draw pictures, read stories, talk with them about their behaviors, listen to their hurts, give them goofy nicknames, hold them in my arms, pray over them. What a job! I also get to walk with foster and adoptive parents through really hard things-these parents who have taken in children not their own, not at first, but then everything changes and you better not mess with these foster parents who will fight for these foster children, especially when it seems like no one else is fighting for them. What a privilege to walk with them, to pray with them, to encourage them, to support them and sometimes, on a really good day, give them advice and suggestions for their children that actually work! My job brings a lot of hurt into my life that maybe I would not have if I worked somewhere else, but I am not sure I would do anything else. (Ok there are days I dream about moving to Africa to hold babies for a living!) But right now, I am so thankful for this job that God has given me and for the way He is at work in this job. 

3. My FAMILY!! Oh my goodness I love my family. I miss them all the time, but I also feel really close to them no matter how long it is before I get to see them again. Dad-you crack me up-I am pretty sure that no one makes me laugh like you-I don't know exactly what it is, but the way you tell a story is awesome and hilarious. You have to remember to not tell me falling-down stories when I'm driving. Just not safe. Also-thanks for teaching me to want more of God in my life. Mom-you are so consistent and encouraging. Thank you for taking my many phone calls, break-downs, ranting and raving - all with a grain of salt - and with patience and most of the time, sympathy. :) Thanks for encouraging me to be thankful! Even when I don't want to be. Andrew-one of my best friends (told you!). I love your passion for things, like duck-calls, or for people, like your sweet friend whose family is overseas and you made sure he had calling cards so he could speak with them. You blow me away with your compassion. You also drive me crazy with your stubbornness. Mostly you teach me about Jesus and I'm so thankful to be your sister! Britt- my "sister-cuz" as Mom would say. Man, I love you a lot. I love that any time I get to see you, I know that it means I will be getting lots of hugs and cuddles and kisses on the cheek and just lots of lovin'!! You fill my cup! I love your passion for life. You love to take care of others-to your detriment sometimes, but you just can't help it. You care about everyone no matter who they are. I want to be more like that! Traci-our newest family member-I am so glad you picked Andrew. You are perfect for him. You have patience that none of us have! :) Traci- I love your heart for the world. Love that we can connect over having been to other countries and caring for the least of these. I love your laugh- it is crazy contagious! Thankful for all of my other family members-especially my grandparents who all have loved Jesus and who have always made sure that we do too. What a gift to have these examples in my life. 


4. Towne Center, Vickery Meadows. I am thankful to live where I live. Daily I am reminded that the world is so much bigger than my own little story. Daily I get to interact with people from Nepal, Burundi, Burma, Thailand, Mexico and Dallas, TX. I love that pretty much I am guaranteed to hear my name called when I walk out of my apartment whether it is by the many children I know or sometimes by a total stranger who just happens to know who I am. I love that there are several good friends from my church who also live here that I get to walk alongside as we try to show Jesus' love to our neighbors. I love my sweet Burmese family who cooks breakfast for me and my roommate every Sunday. Who every time I talk to them remind me that I have family here in Dallas-they are just not related by blood. But they are related by the Spirit of Jesus and that is more than enough. They check on me when I am sick and worry about me when they have not seen me in three or four days. I love the Nepali family who also calls me daughter, sister and friend. They invite me in for meals, for their special holidays, for the births of their babies. What a privilege! I want so much for these friends of mine to know Jesus as their One Saviour. I am thankful for the many conversations I get to have where I try to explain Jesus (yikes, how do you explain Jesus??) and then God reminds me he is bigger than me and that he has a plan for the people who live here and it is better than any short-term solution I can come up with. I am even thankful for the days that children knock on the door and even though I maybe don't want to open it up -I do, because how can I not? I love these children so much. I am thankful for the small taste of being a mother-I love getting to do homework and encouraging kids to read. I even love it when the only reason a kid knocks on my door is to tattle on somebody else. It just makes me laugh. I absolutely love this crazy little place called Vickery. 

5. Thankful for my Jesus! Thankful for God who sent his son into a hard, dark, unfriendly world, so that one day he would die for the sins of that dark world. And so that one day I could know Him because of his Son. I am thankful for God's faithfulness and his sweet, gentleness in the way he cares for me. I know that my life could look completely different but for his grace. And I am thankful for that grace!! I am thankful that although there are times when I think my life should look a certain way and I express those thoughts to Jesus, that He already knows and He loves me still, even when I am kinda mad at Him. He reminds me of the truth in His word. He reminds me that he cares about justice more than I ever could and that he loves my refugee friends and my foster babies more than I could ever imagine. Jesus reminds me to have compassion and grace when really I want to be angry or mean. He reminds me that he loves the whole world and he has had a plan from the beginning of time to rescue this world and make it new again. And I am most thankful for this- that he will come again and we will be restored. 

Thankful, 
Jess

The End of an Era

African Youth Choir

     One of the main reasons I got involved in my church in Dallas is because the very first Sunday I visited they had a very specific prayer time set apart for the many refugees that now call Dallas "home." I was sold. A huge part of my decision to move to Dallas was because I wanted to find a way to work with refugees whether that was through an actual, paying job or just being able to spend time with them in a hang out kind of setting. My church had and still has a pretty active relationship with a group of refugees from Burundi and Tanzania. Several months after starting to attend my church I heard about an opportunity to partner one on one with a refugee friend and practice English skills. I attended a meeting about this and was assigned a partner. My partner ended up being a young girl named Joseline. She lived with her family in a low income apartment close by where I was living at the time. When Joseline and I first became friends and English partners, she was 22 I think and I was 26. During our time together we learned about each other's families, each other's cultures and a tiny bit about the English language. I have never had any kind of ESL training so basically I bought an English workbook and we worked out of that. Probably not super beneficial when actually teaching English but we made it work. We laughed a lot especially when we just did not understand each other which was often. But I got to meet her family and got to know her younger brothers and sisters pretty well. Joseline and I met for about a year and a half every Wednesday evening. Ok, not every Wednesday, but pretty consistently! 

Joseline and I at my birthday party in 2009. 

Emily and Fainanse

Around this same time the outreach pastor at our church contacted a friend of mine who was also interested in hanging out with refugees and let her know of a need that the church had. A van driver was picking up several of the Burundi children and dropping them off for the 11:15 service at our church but there was no class for them to go to. So my friend, Emily, and I headed off to the church gym one Sunday morning and started a class for these Burundi kids. This class has changed many times and took on many shapes over the last several years. It started out as Emily and I playing soccer with 20 or so children, ages 5-14. It morphed into a small Sunday school class that met in the old junior high room at one point and we had worship time and Bible study. Some Sundays we would have 5 kids and some Sundays we would have 25. We never knew what Sunday morning would look like. It has been stressful and exhilarating all at once. It has been beautiful to begin to understand this wonderful culture and it has been painful to know some of the things these children have been through and to see how this has affected them. I have watched children that started out as what I would call "disrespectful" and "hard" turn into young men who smile and say "yes ma'am" and "how are you?" when they used to ignore any comment headed their way. 

Alex 

Christmas party-Noella and Emmeline

Happy and Divin. :) 

     It has been hard and many tears of anger and frustration have been cried. Many prayers have been prayed, some answered, some not yet. It has also been really refining for me and for many friends who have also taught and hung out with these children for various time frames. And now it has come to an end. 

     The last several months we have only  had about four young men showing up regularly. And for the majority of this time, my friend Bethany and I have been the main teachers. There have been so many great people to come along to help in this class over the last couple of years. Several really amazing guys that have been so consistent and have taught the truth of God's word in ways that I can't imagine doing myself. It has been wonderful to watch these young African boys listen intently to these men teach from the word of God and then play basketball, dodgeball or soccer with them right after. But lately as Bethany and I have had the privilege of teaching the boys, we have felt that God probably didn't call us to work with pre-teen and teenage boys (although God definitely has a sense of humor). We have also just realized that it is time to be finished with this class. Both of us struggled with letting this go, but we both have realized over the last several months that God is bigger than either of us and He has the power to protect the faith in these boys that has been planted, not solely by us but by their parents and by the Lord himself. So we let the boys know that the last Sunday in August would be our last Sunday but that we would continue to see the boys and their younger sisters at their African church service occasionally and that we would also come visit them at their houses. 

     Today we sat down with these four boys and talked about things we have learned over the last few years. Things that were mentioned: patience, understanding that God is in control of our situations, learning that the God who gives is also the God who takes away, forgiveness, and that anything good that is in us is because of Christ. Then we had a really sweet time of prayer where we each prayed. Happy God (who is going into ninth grade) prayed for Bethany and I and for all the leaders/teachers that have helped over the years and thanked God for us. I did tear up a little at this point. I almost broke down crying a few weeks before at the thought of leaving these boys! But I know that the Lord is good and faithful and I'm committed to praying his protection over these boys, that they will always turn to Jesus and know how much they are loved by him. 

Dodgeball- Stephan showed no mercy.

Tusseigne - thankful for this smile. 

There are so many memories with these boys, from the many injuries (especially Enock), Easter Egg hunts, building the Ark of the Covenant, taking them all to the water park and to the Children's Museum of Nature and Science and just the many amazing God-inspired things they have said and also the sayings that were probably not so God-inspired! It really has been one of the biggest blessings of my life to love and fight for these kids. Here are pictures throughout the last couple of years. 

 

Our group at the Museum of Science and Nature

One of my favorite smiles from Divin,
Milking a cow at the Museum.

Bethany helping measure out a
piece of wood for the Ark. 

Joseph, Enock and Russell

Putting in the 10 commandments.

Ark of the Covenant! 

Our faithful four- Happy God, Alex, Divin and Enock.

Finally a smile! 

They love basketball!  

I can only imagine what amazing things the Lord has in store for these kiddos. I know that he will use their stories to bring glory to His name! Praying that they will grow up to be men and women after the Lord's heart. 

Birthday Month

I love celebrating my birthday. I'm sure that will get old one day...pun intended! But right now it is a lot of fun and who doesn't love cards and gifts and hugs? My birthday was June 10 and it was great. My current roommate and I share the same birthday so we had a joint birthday party in our apartment on our actual birthday. We invited friends, family and neighbors. Here is a glimpse of our par-tay:

Roomie Rach - Happy shared birthday! 

Sweet neighbors

The Dunghana family-We love them! 

So many friends!

Sweet sisters. Makes my heart smile.

I'm so thankful to have gotten to celebrate with these friends and neighbors. I also got to see my mom, Mawmaw, brother and sister-in-law the weekend after my birthday. The day before my birthday I was able to go to a Tim McGraw/Kenny Chesney concert with two great friends and their husbands. And my supervisor at work made me cupcakes!! Turning 29 is definitely off to a good start-super grateful for all the blessings in my life. 

Yay birthday month!

jess 

(Un)hindered Obedience.

Yesterday was a long day. It was full of really good things and people that I love, but it was hard. It was busy and required some flexibility on my part, but it was mostly hard because I caught another glimpse of my heart and it was not as pretty as I would like it to be. It was one of those days where there were a lot of opportunities to be involved in what God is doing here in Vickery and I was involved. I was obedient. But I was not joyful. I would say that joy is one of the characteristics that should mark a follower of Jesus. Obedience is too, but I am really good at being obedient without joy and that is not a characteristic of Jesus. "For the joy set before him, he endured the cross." (I'm paraphrasing..Hebrews 12:2). 


This is something that has marked me for some time, I think. In my bible study group, I told my "life story" once to all the girls in my group and one of the girls said something to the effect of "Jessica, you may not always want to be obedient to Jesus, but you are obedient." Something like that. And she meant it as a compliment. I get that. I also know that without joy, without love...what's the use of my obedience? It is just another thing that I am doing with no lasting value. 


Jesus keeps reminding me that my joy should be in him, that the things I do "for" him, should be out of joy and love for him. I want it to be that way. And sometimes it is. The thing with Jesus is, that he still blesses my obedience even when I am so unwilling and so frustrated when something that he asks me to do interferes with what I really want to do, which is usually something focused on myself. 


One of the sweet babies that I wrote about in my previous post has been in the hospital the last two days. From what I can understand, he has a bladder infection. I found out about this yesterday from an extended family member so I passed along word to have one of my friends (the aunt of the baby) call me later to tell me how the baby was doing. My friend, J, called me at 8:30 last night and I immediately asked about the baby (so caring of me) and she said he was okay, but could I take her to the hospital to see the baby and the baby's mom (her sister) and to drop off food for the mom. My initial, gut reaction was "I don't want to go. I don't want to drive downtown to the hospital late at night. I don't want to figure out parking. I just don't want to go." But I said yes. (me being obedient, but without joy.) And we went. And you know, it was great. We were able to see the baby and mom even though it was after visiting hours (thank you, nice nurses) and the mom was so grateful to see us and encouraged by us coming, especially because her sister and mother were able to come. It was just good. I got to hold this precious baby that has been sick and before I left I got to pray for him. This family is Hindu and they know I follow Jesus but I always want to be respectful to them and so I asked the mom "Can I pray for S before I go?" And she said "oh yes, I was going to ask you to pray before you left." What a sweet moment of being able to pray for this little baby that Jesus - Jehovah Rapha - the Lord who Heals, would heal him! And that this family was okay with me praying for him. I am so thankful that I got to be there last night. And so awed by Jesus' grace, that even in my selfishness, he still allows me to be a part of times like this. He is so good. 


So, things I am learning:
1. Jesus desires my joy, not just my obedience. 
2. That these people are my family. And if I truly believe that, I will act it out. Not only when someone else is watching or asking me about "what's it like working with refugees in Vickery?" But when it counts. When nobody else knows. When my family needs me. Whether it is just to listen, or to eat a meal together, or to give them a ride to the hospital late at night when that's not what I had planned. That is what family does. And they are my family. 


Thanks for reading, 
jess

Cup of Blessing

A scripture that I have been trying to hold on to lately is Psalm 16:5-

Lord, You are my portion

and my cup of blessing; 

You hold my future. 

It's good right? The title of the Psalm in my bible (Holman Christian Standard Bible version) is Confidence in the Lord. I lack a lot of that for some reason. I think I just get caught up in all the things I want (not need) and how I don't have some of those things right now. Marriage. Kids. Those are the big two. And some days I do not have confidence that God is going to fulfill those things in my life. But when I am pursuing Jesus, pursuing time with him, pursuing friendships that speak truth over me then I remember that the Lord truly IS my portion. He IS my cup of blessing and he HOLDS my future. Sigh. So good.  I wish I had better theological things to say about this, but all I can really say right now is that I know Jesus is good. I know that he is more than enough for me every day and that the only reason there is anything good in me is because he is in my life. Oh yeah-Psalm 16:2- I said to the Lord, "You are my Lord; I have no good besides You." Hello-story of my life!! This is something that I have really been and continue to struggle through. I don't think that anyone ever overtly taught me that I need to please God through doing things or that what I do is what makes me worthwhile, but through some really good conversations with others in my life right now, I am learning that I find a lot of my worth in the things I do. That I work with foster children, that I love refugees, that I am good somehow because of these things. Ugh. Not true! I think I have equated these things with part of the reason why Jesus loves me. Or that somehow because I do these things other people will know how much I love Jesus. I have placed my value in these things. And I have left Jesus out of it and started to believe that somehow I could meet others' needs. Right... So the plan is that I will pursue Jesus daily because he has pursued me because he loves me. And he loves you. And the first commandment is: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." So this is what I will strive to do. Ask me if I'm doing this next time you see me! :) 

Stuff going on in Vickery lately-

Lots of babies! Two of my friends have had babies over the last two months. And they are beautiful, sweet Nepali babies!! I'm so proud of the two moms and how they are doing! Both babies are precious and healthy. 

Angelica and Saneesh 

Random fun times with kids in the apartments. One of my little friends, M, is really into listing out homophones (which if you are like me, you don't really remember grammar things-homophones are words that sound like each other but are spelled differently such as: ate and eight.) See how that works? One of our games lately is to be able to list out as many homophones as we can think of. M is a smartypants for a 1st grader and she can think of way more than I can. Love her. 

Sweet brothers (ok, most of the time...)

I spent a few hours with my Burmese family last Sunday. Played Go Fish for about an hour outside their apartment. Then the mom came home and she invited me in to eat Lepetho (no idea how that is spelled) but that's what it sounds like when she says it. Basically it's a leaf from Burma that is cooked and then mixed with a dried bean mixture. Very interesting and actually I thought it was really good! We ate it out on their balcony of their apartment and also had sugar cane candy and tea. It was awesome! And it really is so fun to sit and hang out with their family. They very much treat me as family I feel like, although they like to tell me how great I am -which is not good for the pride and value thing I was talking about earlier. So I always just say-Jesus is good, not me. And they know that ultimately that is true. I am so thankful for them and how they invite me into their home and expect nothing from me. This week I was sick and I got a text from the father today asking me how I was feeling. Family!! I'm so thankful for them. 

Burmese snack. :) Mmm

I went to Florida for Spring Break with my friend Katie. We went to visit our friends, Matt and Bethany, and it was a blast. I read through the Hunger Games series (just in time to see the movie), we spent time in Miami at the beach and played tons of games. It was such a nice break from work and Dallas. 

Miss this girl! 

Thanks for reading.... 

jess

A day in the life...

     I haven't posted in forever. Mostly because I have been busy with work, with life, whatever. Blah, blah, blah. I just have not shown  my commitment to this blog. So even though it is currently 10:30 p.m. and that is past my bedtime, I've decided I need to write. 


     Because the purpose of this blog is to somewhat chronicle my life (and help me remember awesome things that happen), I'm just going to give a rundown of my day today. 


     This morning I slept in until about 7:15 a.m. I didn't have any foster home visits today, so I didn't have to be up at a certain time. I got up, got on my computer, checked work emails, ate breakfast and actually spent some time with Jesus (whole other post-I desperately need more time with Jesus!) While hanging out with Jesus, I got a phone call from one of my Nepali friends who lives in my apartment complex. She was calling to see if I could give her mother a ride to work. This was at about 8:20 a.m. Of course, I can, what else am I doing? So I hop in the car (dressed in my p.j.'s still-which totally consisted of tights, sports bra, tank, sweatshirt oh and my black, furry boots from Greece-they are my fave.) I looked awesome. Headed over to apartment #311, picked up my friend, S, who happens to be 8 months pregnant, and then we drove over to her mother's apartment and picked up the mother. Then we all headed to work. Thankfully, S, has driven her mother to work plenty of times and gave me great directions to the workplace. (Because if you know me, you know I get lost, anywhere, even and especially in malls, parking lots, places I've been numerous times.) However, thanks to S, we made it to work, dropped mom off, and headed back to the apartment. Got back and S and I both realized I have not visited S' apartment since she moved back in over here with her husband. We decided that I needed to see all of S' baby stuff that she just got at her work baby shower. I went and checked that out with her and we talked about her apartment and how she really misses her old apartment because it was bigger, etc. We also discussed what it is I actually do for a living. It is really hard to explain foster care to refugees-I'm pretty sure they all think I don't actually have a job since I work from home so frequently. But anyways I did my best to explain it and talked about how some parents make bad choices and  don't keep their kids safe. We talked about how some people choose to use drugs around their kids-S said "why are they so stupid?" I ask myself this a lot. But then we talked about addiction and how it is hard to stop these choices after you start making them. And then we talked about her two younger siblings who are in high school and middle school and how she doesn't want this for them. I love S and how she looks out for her family. She is a fighter for sure. Finally after about 30 minutes of chatting, I said I needed to go back to work. Again, probably didn't make a ton of sense, but she let me go. 


     So, went back to work, still in my p.j.'s. Answering emails, talking to foster parents on the phone, writing up a home study-pretty exciting stuff. I also may have played Scramble with Friends on my new Iphone!!! It's addicting. And I'm kind of terrible at it, which just makes me want to play more so that I can beat people and feel smart. But that is besides the point. 


     I finally took a shower around 2 p.m. Around 3:30 p.m. the door starts getting beat down by kids who live in my apartment complex and who probably also don't think I have a real job because I always seem to be home...And they don't just knock. Oh no. They turn the doorknob, they beat on the door, they let the clacker thing bang on the door and then when all else fails, they yell "Jess, hey Jess, are you home? Jess?" It's great. So I couldn't answer the first wave of kids because I actually was working (on the phone with a foster parent). Then a little bit later, some more kids came by and I went to the door and talked for a few minutes, but explained that I had a lot of work to do and they could not come over today. While talking to these girls, I saw the Nepali grandma that lives next door. Oh I love her. She is tiny and beautiful and she gives me hugs and smiles so brightly at me every time I see her. So we hugged and each talked to each other in our language and did not understand each other at all, but it was wonderful. While talking to the grandma, another Nepali lady walks up. I assume she is visiting my next-door neighbors. But she is interested to see me. So my Nepali grandma goes inside her apartment and this other new friend comes inside my apartment. Yep, just comes in, looks around, starts asking me questions about who all lives in the apartment, where do my parents live, am I married (nope..), etc. She is really sweet, just very curious. We chat for awhile, I explain that yes, I am actually working. She continues to chat about various things, her children, how old they are-2 girls, 1 boy, ages 22, 21, 19. Then I get a work phone call so I say "I'm sorry, this is for work, it was nice to meet you." I'm assuming that she will let herself out of the apartment because I had left the door open. So I'm talking to one of my foster parents and then I hear my roommate's toilet flush. A few seconds later, my new Nepali friend comes around the corner where I am sitting at the kitchen table and lets me know that she just took a tour of the apartment. You know, just a look around in our bedrooms, etc. I'm still on the phone at this point, so I just say "ok, thank you."  What else do you say? If she wasn't a sweet, older Nepali woman, I would think she was casing our apartment so she could come back later for the good stuff. Ha. Really, all I could do was laugh. I think she and I are friends for life now. 


     Around 4:30 p.m. a few more kiddos drop by. They say lots of "pleases" and give me puppy dog eyes, but I don't budge-I really have to get documentation done for work today. 


     Then at 6:30 p.m. I get ready to head out because I have a date with my neighbors down the way. They are from Burma and they are the sweetest family because they are my family! They love me to pieces and I am so thankful for them. The mom had an appointment with Aveda Hair Institute at 7:45 p.m. but before the hair appointment she wanted to take me to dinner, so we headed over to the Jumbo China Buffet. I have seen the sign for this place a million times, but have never been until tonight. It was me, my neighbor and her 9 year old daughter. We had a great time. They were so excited to show me the buffet and encouraged me to eat "more, more." The food was good and we had a good time just talking about our days, what is going on in their family and most importantly, how she wanted to get her hair cut!! We finished up at the buffet, read all of our fortune cookies and headed to Aveda. I did not know this but at Aveda (where there are students learning how to cut hair, etc) they estimate up to an hour and a half for a haircut!! Yikes! Thankfully Aveda is located in this outdoor mall area, so the 9 year old daughter and I took a little walk to Old Navy and bought a few clothing items. That was way more fun than sitting in the waiting area at Aveda. Finally around 9:15 p.m. my neighbor came out looking like a model with her brand new haircut and we all headed home. All the way home in the car she kept saying "I'm so happy!" She loved her haircut and I know she also loved that we got to hang out for several hours. 


     All in all, a really great day. I get super wrapped up in my own little life schedule some times and I forget to enjoy the moments I am in, but today was good. There was joy, laughter, hugs and just this feeling of knowing that God is good and he is in each of these moments. He cares about each of these moments. In my life and yours. 


     P.S. It is now 11:20 which is way past my bedtime. 
P.P.S-I don't have any pictures to go along with this post. I'll work on that for next time. :) 

New babies

     This week two new babies were born to families in my apartment complex. Both families are from Nepal. For one of the families, this is their first baby. For the other family, this is their third. It is always really exciting when new life enters the world. I am always amazed that we start out that little and helpless, completely dependent on others to care for us. 


     Dependence. Living in America, we are encouraged to be independent. As a woman, I feel like it's important for me to be independent and to be able to show that I can take care of myself (or at least I feel like I have been told this should be important to me.) But to be completely dependent on someone? It's been awhile since I have felt that way towards anyone. When I see these new babies or when I think about children coming into foster care who have all of a sudden been ripped away from the only family they have ever known and placed into a new family...man. I cannot imagine the confusion, how scary it is, how helpless you feel and the trust that has to be built. 


     But I think about God and how he asks us to be dependent on him and how even when he is faithful, I still fight against that and think I can somehow get through life on my own without his help. I realize that for some people the trust is not there for them. So I can only speak for myself when I say that I have seen God's faithfulness in my life and yet sometimes I still fail to trust him. I fail to trust that really his desire is for my good, that no matter what I may see as negative in my life, that he has a plan to use it for his glory and that is what matters. That the underlying truth of it all is that God is good. Even in hard things. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and do not rely on your own understanding. 

Proverbs 3:5

     When I rely/depend on others, they will fail me. If I look to others to tell me I am good enough, pretty enough, whatever, I will always fall short and spiral downwards. I know. I've done it plenty of times. But if I depend on the Lord and trust him with my life, with situations that I cannot control no matter how much I want to, he will take care of it. He will show me, again, that he is someone I can depend on. 


     New babies and practically every kid I know show me this truth all the time. They have to depend on adults to take care of them. Adults do not always do this well, of course, but the dependence these kiddos have, well, it makes me want to be like them. It reminds me of Jesus saying "Let the little children come to me. Don't stop them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I assure you: Whoever does not welcome the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." -Mark 10:14 I want to be like that in my faith. 


               

New baby Dunghana

Proud big sister!